That "SOMETHING"

Of course there are the obvious aspects of being a healthy mama such as, the exercise and healthy eating. Maybe I'm a slow learner, but now that I am a mother to 4 and I've been doing it for 8 1/2 years, I am coming to realize that there are sooooooo many aspects of being a healthy mama. For me part of the struggle has been figuring out what makes me happy and completely fulfilled.

I've just always wanted that special connection and love that in my relationships that I just couldn't figure out how to explain or ask for. For me its just that "SOMETHING" that I just haven't been able to put my finger on. At times I would be frustrated and tell my spouse that I was feeling a certain way, but I had no way of explaining what he could do to help me feel better. I've had this communication barrier for years, that is until I started digging into a new book that my sister recommended to me called the 5 LOVE LANGUAGES.

This book has been taking me on the quest to figure out what makes me feel satisfied and complete in my relationships with others. It also helps me be able to figure out how to understand what others need in their relationships. I feel like its helped me to be a better wife, friend, and mother. Its been so fun and exciting testing the different things out on my relationships and seeing how the different techniques work on different people. I'm not finished yet, but I've pretty much figured out my own "love language." I've now been able to communicate my needs to my husband in a simple way that he understands, and it has taken our relationship to a new level of understanding, connection, and given me that "SOMETHING" that I just couldn't figure out before. I'm still working on pinpointing his "love language." He agreed to sit down and read through a few parts with me, so that is on my to do list :)

If you are searching for that "SOMETHING" that you find is missing in your relationships then pick up the book and read it individually or with your partner. I guarantee it can bring you joy and fulfillment if you put it to practice.


Here is a basic outline of the 5 languages~ What you need to do it pinpoint your language and then communicate that need to your spouse. Also, pinpoint their language and fulfill that need for them. Fill their "love tank" and it will make a huge difference in your relationship.

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.